Ophelia Speaks
by FanFreak2002
Summary: Remember always seeing that girl in the bakground of each show? You know the girl with the lank blonde hair, and thick navy glasses. Well, she has a story to tell just like everyone else.
1. Stupid Girls

I've always blended into the background. My mom tells me it's because I don't try hard enough to gain people's attention. That I don't act my age. I don't care…Most of the time. I've accepted that I'm plain. It was easier when I was younger, but now that I've grown into a teenager it's become much harder. Hormones, that's what Mr. Lowe blames it on. But I try to blame it on something else.

Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back. What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl. Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back. Pushing up my bra like that. I don't wanna be a stupid girl.

I blame my personality, I believe appearance is last place in looking for a friend or boyfriend. So I've always gone what's comfortable in my closet. I think you should always have something to say, even though no one really talks to me. Except Gordy or other members of the faculty. Maybe they think I'm gonna blow my head off if I don't get a little human contact. I've thought about it, only as a poetic tool of course. I could never just go off and kill myself. When I first thought about it I told myself, "No, that means everyone else won, they got what they wanted, you're gone. If I have to be miserable they should have to be too. That's life." Wow, I was really weird when I was twelve.

Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there laughing loud so all the little people stare. Looking for daddy to pay for the champagne.

I despise girls like Missy, forever believing that people like me are supposed to bend our backs til they break just to make her happy. I learned how to avoid her when we were in fifth grade, so it's not as bad as it could be. I thought Lisa Zemo was like me, we used to hang out all the time. We were best friends. But I guess the pressure got to her. She did it for Simon Cook, even though she won't admit it. But she now has him wrapped around her freshly manicured cuticle. I still sit with her at study hall sometimes, but the gaping guys that always surround her stare at me like I'm an outsider, not really knowing what I am.

What happened to the dreams of a girl president? They travel in packs two or three. With their itsy bitsy doggies, and their teeny weeny tees.

But my most hated rival would have to be Suzie Crabgrass. Miss Perfect, Miss Straight A Beauty Queen. It makes me sick. Crabgrass is full of nothing but hypocrisy. What? Do you want me to prove it? You know how she makes her straight A's? Nerdy kids who she pouts out her lip for so she can go off primping her hair. I, myself, refused. And I got made onto her list. Her and her crew have to get even with me.

_**Where, oh, where have the smart people gone? Where, oh, where could they be?**_

Ever since we had the same kindergarten teacher, I've had a crush on Ned Bigby. We seemed to have a bit in common. We didn't care about much, and what we did care about we threw ourselves into. Somehow Suzie found out about my top secret crush, and went out with him on the first try. It tore me up inside, but that's how the world works, and I shrugged it off. I just wrote it down, and locked it all away. Like I will as soon as I'm done with this.

Disease's growing, it's an epidemic. I'm scared that there ain't no cure. The world believes it, and I'm going crazy. I can't take it anymore.

My heart is just too full sometimes. What am I supposed to do? At school, at home I'm surrounded by silence. It's killing me. Everyone around me ignores my existence. But I'll find somehow to push it all away. It'll all be okay sooner or later, but I'm crossing my fingers for sooner. "Hey," I hear from behind my locker. I dismiss it, someone probably talking to somebody else to the locker next to mine.

I'm so glad that I'll never fit in, that will never be me. Outcasts, and girls with ambition. That's what I wanna see. Disaster all around, the world despaired, their only concern is will it screw up my hair?

"Hey," the guy says again, I slam my locker door to see Ned Bigby gazing at me from the other side of it. "Sorry, I didn't think you were talking to me," I swipe a piece of hair behind my ear, just like I always do when I'm nervous. "No one ever really talks to me." Breath leaves me, I talk way too much when I get the chance. I want to hit myself when pity fills his eyes. No, don't feel sorry for me. I'm supposed to feel sorry for you for dating a girl who only pretends to like you to peeve me off. "I was going to tell you that you left too soon before Mr. Pal yelled out that we're partners for the social studies project. So if it's okay, maybe I can come to your house this afternoon so we can start on it. I'm already one 70 away from failing." I shrug, holding my emotions in as always.

"Here, can you come around five I have to work for a bit." I write my address down on the palm of his hand, and he looks at it with a smile. "Yeah, see you then." He waves to me as he goes over to Crabgrass, and she hits me with one of her trademark evil glares, with a double dose of her gleeful maniac smirks. Ned as always, doesn't notice only going over to her and kisses her cheek. They could be planning a prank together. I watch him a an arm around her slender waist. What can I do to stop this madness? Maybe if I acted like that for awhile, Ned would come to me, and Suzie's plan would be demised.

I smiled, something I rarely do anymore. But I couldn't help it I was hatching a plan against my rival enemy.

_**Pretty will you screw me girl? Silly as a lucky girl, pull my head, and suck it girl. Stupid girl.**_


	2. Hard To Be Faithful

"Missy?" Her blonde hair whipped around, and hit me in the face. She looked a bit appalled to see me. "What do you want freak?" "I want your help." "What?" "I want you to help me with the way I look." "I'm not a miracle worker, besides why would I do that?" "Because you hate Crabgrass, and I want Ned. If I looked good enough to get him, Crabgrass would be crushed." Missy's face went slack, battling with herself. Help me, and make Suzie miserable. Or refuse, and just leave me here miserable. "Fine, I'll do it." She dragged me into the girl's restroom, and began primping me up.

"I don't want to be weighed down, I just want a light touch." "Fine." She sighed as she went to her make-up case. I wanted to tell her I didn't want to look like a hooker, but was sure it would offend her and she'd quit.

I went home astonished that a few strokes of make-up could make such a difference. But it did. I wasn't the only one who was surprised, as soon as I walked in the house, my mother was heaped with pleasure. I was finally doing something with my appearance. I went upstairs to change, I didn't really have anything girly, so I settled for jeans and a pink hoodie. Pink is a girly color right? "Honey, you're going to be late for work." It wasn't really work, the public library paid me to type information down into their files on the computer.

It never took me more than an hour to get it done. I had seven pages worth today. My fingernail polish chipped from hitting the keys too hard. I walked home wondering was this worth it? Changing myself to suit others? No…It wasn't. But I was going to try to brace through it, for at least today.

Ned was already sitting on the couch when I got home. " Sorry, I know I'm a bit early." "It's okay I'm here now, so let's get started."

Honey why you calling me so late? It's kind of hard to talk right now. Is everything okay?

When I threw down my backpack he finally looked up at me. "You look different." "I just wanted to try something new." "It's nice, but you looked better before." I crossed my arms over my chest, anger mixing with my confusion. "Did you even notice me before?" "Of course, we've known each other forever. We used to be really close." "I remember." Moze came along then, and I guess a sporty flair beat an impish bookworm. Our report was over the Puritans, I never really cared for that stage of American history. Cause of the way they treated women, but oh well.

We researched silently, until Ned groaned. "I need to stretch my legs." He walked around the living room, and his eyes landed on my copy of Eldest. "Who could read this?" "It's easy for me." He stared. "When you're mainly alone, it's simple." "You know you can hang out with me. Suzie, Cookie, and Moze it would be fun." The sound of Crabgrass' name made me burn. "I don't need you to take pity on me Ned." "I wasn't, I just thought it would be fun if we hung out again."

I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud. Well, my girl's in the next room. Sometimes I wish she was you.

He gathered his things and turned back to me. "You want to come to my house tonight?" "Why?" "A couple of us are going to have a movie marathon." I shrugged, but my heart pounded. "I guess it would be alright." He smiled, "Great."

He went to the door and sighed again. "I have missed you, I want us to start over. Become friends again." I nodded, "It would be nice." "I'll see you tonight." With that he was gone.

I guess we never moved on. It's really good to hear your voice saying my name.

I changed if we were going to start over, then it had to be with me. Not a made up princess. It was probably a bad idea but I didn't care. If he didn't like me like this then maybe it wasn't destined to be anything but an oblivion. I rang the doorbell, and Ned came out smiling.

It sounds so sweet, coming from the lips of an angel. Hearing those works makes me weak. I never want to say goodbye.

I stepped inside, and saw nobody there. "Where is everyone?" He winced, "Probably at home, I just wanted to talk to you." I felt the corners of my lips twitch spasmodically upward. "Talk?" He smiled shyly. Coming closer to me, too close. His lips touched mine. And I put my arms around him. Things were spiraling out of control. It frightened me how much, when Ned put his warm hands underneath my shirt to pull it up. It made me gasp. My frost was melting beneath his touch, and gave into it all. I just wish I knew then what I know now. Because I would've known Suzie was watching us in the next room, seething, but with satisfaction wielding inside her.

But girl you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of an angel.


	3. Bad Day

"You should join the play, you have a great voice." Lisa Zemo was trying to talk me into trying out for the school play which was Hamlet this year. What was it with teachers and Shakespeare anyways? "Nobody's suppose to sing in it are they?" Lisa shrugged a bit, embarrassed by her mistake. "I might go, Mr. Wright's in charge of it this year, and he already promised extra credit for anyone who showed up." I sat in the third row of the auditorium, surprised by how little showed up. Probably all the dumb jocks scared them away. Since they needed the extra credit more. Mozely threw a script at me, telling me to get on stage. I read for Lady Gertrude, and I thought I did reasonbly well as Mr. Wright gave me a pat on the back. Though I was wearing my usual clothes, I had crimped my hair that morning, and it made me feel a little more special than usual. During math Ned sat next to me, but in that time I couldn't muster up the nerve to look at him. I felt like such a skankoid. But was it so wrong to want to feel something for once in my life?

**Where is the moment we needed the most? You kick up the leaves, and the magic is lost. They tell me your blue sky's fade to gray, they tell me your passion's gone away. **

Wednesdays, I hate them as much as Mondays. I'm just as hazy then as I am now. I guzzled down my coffee before heading on in, and it left a nice burning sensatin down my throat. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and jumped turning to see Simon Cook. "Hey, I'll see you at rehearsal?" "What part did you get?" I know he was still a bit peeved about the whole Romeo and Juliet incident so I thought he deserved it. "Horatio," he said proudly. "Good for you." I was hoping I didn't sound too phony about it all. "You should be proud too, Ophelia's a tough role." My mouth dropped open. "But I tried out for Gertrude, I don't want to play Ophelia since she dies." I looked at the floor. "Nearly everyone dies in the play anyways." "Yeah but Ophelia drowns herself." Having to prepare for a suicidal part wouldn't really benefit e at this time.

**You stand in line just to hit a new low. You fake up a smile, with the coffee to go. You tell your life's been way off ine. You fall to pieces everytime. **

I went to Mr. Wright's office, knocking a little more harshly than I generally meant to. He jerked the door open, looking at me surprised. "May I help you?" "I'm sorry sir, but I have to pass on playing Ophelia, I just don't think I'm the type." He closed his door gently, "No, you can't, there wasn't enough girls that showed up for the audition. I already had to bribe a few studentsto try out. Please I don't think I can handle another drop out." He looked so tired, I could relate. That made me feel that much worse for him. "Fine, I'll do it." He smiled a thanks, and patted my shoulder. Wouldn't you know it Seth Powers dropped out at last minute for a stupid basketball game on Saturday, and Ned was his stand in as Hamlet. I felt like choking. I looked at my lines, blushing. "I'm sorry my lord, but I have to return these favors you have presented me.. He stepped forward, invading my personal space, gripping my arm lightly. "You can't do that Ophelia, you know there is something between us." I narrowed my eyes at him. Had he lost his mind? "What are you doing? That's not in the script." I hissed each word at him, causing his cheeks to redden. It didn't stop him from touching his lips to mine though. I felt a spark through me again, as tears leaked from my eyes. Everyone was watching, they knew it wasn't in the script. Ned just ruined his whole relationship with Suzie.

**Will you need a blue sky holiday? The point is they laugh at what you say.**

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, as he smiled at me gently. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Mozely looking at Suzie, awestruck.As I looked at Crabgrass her expression was blank. I gulped with the fear of it. She stood up, clapping, and a few others followed in her actions. I was confused, I was scared. Especially as she approached us on the stage, and saw that Ned was just as scared as me. Who knew such a small person could be that intimidating. "I loved it, but not as much as your performance the other night." As if on a cue the light dimmed, and on the viewing screen was Ned and me. Nude, making love, murmuring words of affection to each other. I cried silently to myself, nd turned to see Ned's face fill with fury. Everyone around us was laughing and in shock. I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out the noises. I don't kow what was coming over me, I felt the rage mingling with my sadness. I leapt out, and pushed Crabgrass off the stage. "Is she okay?" The question was zooming through the room. This isn't real, this isn't real. I'm at the library workig, about to go home. I tried to convince myself of that, but then I looked down. I saw the blood oozing from Suzie's scalp. I lost my breath, and crumpled to the floor.

**You might not make it back. You know that you could be that strong, and I'm not wrong.**


End file.
